Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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