Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize