Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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