sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Holy shit dude........stairs
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
