I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
