I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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