We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
