do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I could fuck to npr.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
