4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
