Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
