I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
