I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Randomize
