Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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