So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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