Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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