Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
