Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize