Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
