Where is the hickey?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
