Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
