its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
