I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize