How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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