I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
