North Korea, Best Korea!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
