Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
