So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
