giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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