you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
