We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
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I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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