I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
