On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
