so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize