atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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