It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
