You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.