apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.