worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
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and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
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I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis