Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pappa wants mamma naked

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  (847): Pappa wants mamma naked http://tfl.nu/uc4c
  Replies (5) Good night (1156) Bad night (865)
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  (831): View more from California

  I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.

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  (831): I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco. http://tfl.nu/qnto
  Replies (34) Good night (3382) Bad night (564)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up

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  (813): he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up http://tfl.nu/iuqn
  Replies (8) Good night (2866) Bad night (1104)
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  (516): View more from New York

  All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.

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  (516): All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job. http://tfl.nu/ssdv
  Replies (8) Good night (775) Bad night (3610)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands

  (713): View more from Texas

  When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things

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  (979): You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands (713): When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things http://tfl.nu/2j2p
  Replies (28) Good night (5550) Bad night (996)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?

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  (256): oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me? http://tfl.nu/06bl
  Replies (20) Good night (1203) Bad night (5732)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?

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  (905): was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree? http://tfl.nu/357c
  Replies (6) Good night (2032) Bad night (875)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??

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  (513): How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last?? http://tfl.nu/wkzl
  Replies (9) Good night (1070) Bad night (2835)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.

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  (443): He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits. http://tfl.nu/bqj0
  Replies (12) Good night (3476) Bad night (1173)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.

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  (281): i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend. http://tfl.nu/4vq3
  Replies (7) Good night (912) Bad night (1861)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth

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  (920): They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth http://tfl.nu/xkac
  Replies (17) Good night (1660) Bad night (690)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!

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  (678): I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE! http://tfl.nu/ve9p
  Replies (9) Good night (2904) Bad night (838)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.

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  (757): Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch. http://tfl.nu/5xkl
  Replies (11) Good night (1130) Bad night (797)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.

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  (573): I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high. http://tfl.nu/uvaf
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (202)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons

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  (201): If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons http://tfl.nu/cqi1
  Replies (0) Good night (475) Bad night (232)

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