You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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