..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND