i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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