How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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