nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
