I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
