So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
