I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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