I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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