Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
