So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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