I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize