the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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