this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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