that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I am spending my child support on dildos
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
