He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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