Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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