Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
