I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
