He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
