Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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