i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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