This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
