i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
