I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
